Sicut-Dico

Category: Cocreators

  • Late May chronicles with nudes and music by Gene

    I always knew that she is talented, but I thought of her as a talented musician. Turned out Gene is a decent nude photographer as well.

    I’m attaching songs to each themed round of photos and am curious to see if this format works.

    ROUND 1. GOLDEN HOUR

    Nothing straight is one of the songs I like to use to introduce Gene’s music. It’s a good representation of what we mean by queer pop. And who we are.

    Art Brut (Special Edition) by bogolepov
    This gallery is from the Czech countryside where I plan to come back more often this summer. Nature is amazing. The people are lovely. I could definitely imagine buying an old farm building and turning it into a recording/streaming studio with a spa block.

    ROUND 2. PLAY BEFORE CHECKING OUT

    For the next gallery Gene recommended their song called Simplicity. I have no objections.

    1314 by bogolepov
    Both galleries were taken in minutes. It’s pretty much a documentary: there’s no set up, no preparation process. Also I posted now all the shots taken whatsoever. I like how she sees me. I can’t choose.

    ROUND 3. KITCHEN NUDITY AND PROSERPHINA

    French toast and church bells can lead to the creation of a new religion. That’s what I can tell you so far. A bit more info on this topic is on my Mastodon.

    Art Brut (Special Edition) by bogolepov

    ROUND 4. PORTRAITS

    No more music in this post, but here is the link to Gene’s website once again. If you like their music consider buying it or sharing it.

    Also, no more nudity left for today. Just a bit of humor. I thought this can be a funny pack of stickers.

    • 🀨
    • 😬
    • πŸ˜‚
    • πŸ˜‡
    • πŸ™„
    • πŸ˜‘
    • 😏
    • πŸ₯΄
    • πŸ™‚
    Thank for your attention, darlings. All the money that I get from nudes I forward to support people of Ukraine affected by the war.

    If you like what I do consider supporting my blog.

  • SWSG LIVE MAY

    UPD – support group at 11 AM CEST is happening as planned, more info will appear here.

    My chaturbate room stays embedded at the end of the post. Next time I plan to be online on Monday the 29th of May. To join the Q&A session say hi to me via sw@sicut-dico.com

    19.05.2023 15:13 The first round of broadcasting is done, uploading the recorded video now, and will drop it here soon.

    Did eventually 2 rounds of broadcasting, received one token at the end, and one comment on Mastodon with a “thank you”.

    18.43 Now I feel like I didn’t say even half of what I wanted to say. But let’s count this as one more reason to continue.

    20.05.2023 11:59 Here is the recording from yesterday. My imposter syndrome was especially strong this morning telling me to not post the video because I’m too honest, too vulnerable, too stoned, and/or just not good enough. But I decided that I don’t have the right to judge.

    uncut and unedited so far – will reprocess it and add subtitles later if anyone else finds it helpful

    13:56 Asked Gene to look at the material, in the meanwhile sent a link for prepayment to a client and talked to another who picks up freshly done candles today. This is a moment to remind myself about my own rule. Actions are always better than words. I’m fully booked in May. June and July are half gone. I have more plans and clients to deal with than I can possibly take as a single human being. I sell candles faster than make them and I didn’t even start advertising the store yet.

    No, this is not an accident.

    Yes, I totally believe that other people can get there too and this world needs more happy sex workers and free creators of any kind of safe and fun experiences.

  • Dates and locations

    (TW: short suicide mention, massive solipsism)

    UPD: May is fully booked.

    This post is for everyone who actually wants to meet me or cares for me otherwise. Yes, I know it became difficult recently. I’m also freaking out with the speed of my life. But it’s okay. It’s normal for me.

    The only solution for this I see is planning. Yes, the plans tend to fall apart, but that’s why we have backup plans, right?

    I recharged my batteries and am ready to share. I have a fresh set of warnings though. It’s not gonna get less disturbing than it already is. If it is there, it’s there. If what I say, write, or do is already at least partially disturbing for you – this will only get worse. And it has to get a lot worse before it can get any better. I’m sorry if you are not ready for me. It’s not your fault. Neither it’s mine. The world is broken, not us.

    Anyways.

    Here is what I have on my plate for the next couple of months in terms of

    dates,

    locations,

    and requests for the universe.

    Now you can’t tell me you didn’t know.

    I can be booked alone or with co-creators. My calendar is especially well synchronized with Gene and WO and we still have some free dates in July and a strong will to undermine the System.

    May

    The first two weeks of May I was freezing my ass to an average temp of +11C in Norway. Turned out it was necessary to speed up the process of killing the old version of myself. That one that wants to kill me from time to time.

    Looks like I’ve found its weak spot. Finally!

    I’m back in Prague and generally available for bookings and creative exchange here, in Berlin by arrangements, and what’s most important for now: ONLINE.

    Dates:

    27.05. – Kitkatclub Berlin – in charge of Let’Z Fetish Academy station (clinic area) – if you plan to be in the club and wish to collaborate on content creation – contact me asap.

    19/24/29/31 – creative support groups (CBD project) – free online meetings for creators on topics of motivation, mental health, addictions, financial independence, and productivity.

    Online groups on the 19th and 29th with be hosted on Chaturbate. The topic is SEX WORK, of course. Here is a post with more information on this event.

    Locations:

    By the end of the month, I’m planning to balance between Prague and Berlin, with a few stops in the Czech countryside.

    Accepting recommendations and company for wakeboarding, wind, and kitesurfing locations in CZ, DE and around EU.

    Requests to the universe:

    We are still looking for a home in Prague for Sil and her 2 children. She is in Kyiv for now but will be back next week and I think this is my most important wish this month: to find a comfortable place for them. So if you know a real estate agent who is not an asshole could be ready to help us, or a landlord renting out 2KK+ or a bigger flat in Prague, or might know one of them, please share this request and point them to me.

    June

    UPD: fully booked for June

    dates & Locations:

    1st-15th – creative escape in the Czech countryside

    8th – Psycho KitKat Berlin,

    15th-25th Athens, Greece,

    26th-31st Berlin

    ONLINE:

    5/12/19/26 CBD creative support groups

    Requests to the universe:

    1 music studio, 1 rehearsal base, accountants, lawyers, drivers, likeminded people, 1 sailing teacher, 1 good psychiatrist, 1 wakeboard trainer

    July

    Partially available in Berlin and Prague, planning a show in Prague and another creative escape in the countryside after it.

    Feel free to reach out about booking specific dates, my July is flexible until the end of May. More info will appear later.

    Requests to the universe:

    BDSM ballet’s first action must happen in July, not later. Not sure if I can or should explain why. I trust myself in this and asking you to join me.

    If you know me and managed to read until here – write the fuck to me already, let’s plan something. If you don’t know me, but like what I do consider supporting me or spreading the word about my projects.

    Love!

  • Can Be Done

    I thought I couldn’t go any further in terms of weird marketing after the candle store, but here we are.

    Life never gives up on educating us

    Last morning I drove White Orchestra to Prague from the cottage where we’d been hiding out for the past few days, including my birthday. After watching Sasha work remotely at her so-called real job, I wasn’t sure if she could handle the two jobs I had just offered her.

    We tried to reach the subway so she could get to the office by 9 am. We failed miserably btw. But thanks to the horrible morning traffic, we had an extra half hour to panic together and talk.

    Hearing parts of her endless company meetings was depressing, but also motivating for me in the end. I almost forgot how helpless you feel during those events especially if you need someone to approve something that is not 100% going to bring money right away.

    This is where I realized that I have another incredible power.

    I may be poor compared to all those Ritalin-infused people in suits, but I am free

    I can have a social media manager who doesn’t need to get each post approved. Does not have to take tickets for tasks and count their working time longer than she actually works. I can afford to trust the artist. Because I believe it can work. Because it’s not all just about money.

    And this is a perfect introduction to my pants-on project. The one that made me reconsider my affairs with Patreon recently.

    “Can Be Done” is meant to expose my knowledge and experience in marketing and business strategy for the sake of art and the financial freedom of artists. Also to provide them with the necessary technical support by sharing or creating opensource based solutions.

    CBD’s strategy is partly based on the so-called direct distribution approach (yes, the one Tupperware and Oriflame use), but slightly more sophisticated, where artists (I’ll call them CBD agents or simply the Agents further) will be able to use our magic and resources for their own needs first, and if they want to, they can later bring other artists on board to co-create.

    Non-toxic productivity exists in trying

    Each Agent can have their own tasks and benefits, but the general goal is to build a community of proactive creators and actually

    do

    make

    things

    happen.

    I originally intended not to publish a single article on CBD myself. Or to publish very little. And let the real heroes tell their stories instead. I believe in this because I already know many of those stories and heroes.

    But the biggest pleasure in all this for me is to see things grow from nothing, right before your eyes. That’s where the magic is. I just didn’t fully understand how to do it until now.

    Now I do. By exposing the communication. The rules. The steps. The exceptions. The failures and misunderstandings. Anything that can be useful. Everything that is important.

    I’ll simply start listing the names and tasks in posts here and we all can see what comes out of this. Sicut-dico.com is only one of the projects powered by CBD and WO’s first job will be to help me manage social media, on top of the visual directing that she is already doing.

    tasks for sicut-dico.com

    The main task of the social media manager at sicut-dico.com is to get more people to land here. As simple as that. (Some will read my posts, some will understand me, some won’t. A few will buy my candles. Others will be offended and hopefully wreck their device with a hammer find the “close” button.) Specific tasks in prioritized order are listed below.

    1) All public posts on this website should somehow be reflected on the Instagram feed. I see this as a gallery with screenshots of the website. Please consider the warnings and inclusivity, but otherwise feel free to put your own comment in the text fields. Also, you need to make my website content “safe” for Instagram, you know the drill. Start with the new landing page. Then go for the “social media statement” and “how to” posts (Some posts don’t have featured images. When you have something visual to add to posts upload it to the drive with proper naming and let me know).

    2) Once you have established some routine for Instagram, I’d like you to fill out my LinkedIn profile and think about posting strategies for it. I have someone who has agreed to consult on this, if you have specific questions, send them to me in text format.

    3) Next on the list will be Reddit. I have no idea what the strategy is for Reddit. I would like the solution to come from as many people as possible. Maybe we should ask the IG and Mastodon audience for advice on what kind of Reddit-proof content they would like to see.

    4) Please take over Sil’s email job for SD for now. Since you have her laptop anyway and need to learn the context especially. But once Sil is ready to take it back, you can hand it off to her and brief her. 

    tasks for canbed.one

    – Establish consistent communication with Gene, another Agent who actually has been testing our magic the longest. Discuss together the areas of work you are considering (we already have grants and music videos, but there may be more.) Try to prioritize them.

    – Start the hiring process for CBD (see task #4 for SD).

    – Add products to your profile post and start creating similar posts for Gene, another Sasha who works for CBD.

    CBD tasks are not ordered or prioritized yet, feel free to manage them at your own pace. Please assign deadlines yourself in our progress file for SD. There is no progress file for CBD yet, feel free to create it and share it with me and Gene, we definitely need one now.

    What is next?

    I’m rewriting CBD landing concept to fully get rid of Patreon mentions. I guess we should save some screenshots of the old version for history (Sasha, could you please grab this task too).

    One thing I know for sure. It might take a lot of energy to make words turn into action. So on top of the blog and individual solutions, I’d like to try to host weekly motivational support meetings for artists of any kind. Dates and topics TBA soon. Donation based.

    If you want to be updated via email send me a blank request to newsletter@sicut-dico.com

    Here are the ways to support my work.

  • €205.19

    My dear Patrons! (I’m not just talking about the current ones, but all those who have supported me financially throughout this year and who, for one reason or another, have stopped.) In the previous post about my disappointment with Patreon as a platform, I don’t intend to devalue the enormous support you’ve given me through it.

    Money from my art

    Today I withdrew €205.19 that I received via Patreon over the past year and I intend to transfer it to the artist who curates my candle shop. The amount of money is not really significant, but I think it is much more valuable to have the privilege of reinvesting that money in another artist. I thought you might want to celebrate with me. All of it.

    €205.19 is what’s left after Patreon takes its commission and taxes. The original amount of pledges I got was €256,47 (- €2,38 pledges to other creators).

    I feel like it’s important to share more statistics about this experience. I don’t consider it very successful, but I believe it played an essential role in my self-development process.

    Here is the screenshot of the transactions without names or emails but with lifetime amounts of pledges and dates:

    Between March and November 2022 I almost didn’t post anything and as a result didn’t advertise my blog

    I basically had two rounds of patrons – people who already knew me when I just started my blog in March and people who got to know me later. (Between May and September I almost didn’t post and only in November-December this blog became more or less populated).

    From 11 beautiful humans who supported me, I personally met and know only 6. Some people come and go, and some people stay with me from the beginning. I know that some of you don’t even read my posts and I totally get it. It’s not the point.

    The point is to attempt to break the system that tells us to go and get “real jobs” instead of doing what we like with our lives and bodies. Those financial transactions are very symbolic for now. However, they helped me to see my own art as an income source. This cost so much more than just 200 bucks!

    What’s next? (and one more round of gratitude)

    I want to state very clearly. My gratitude belongs to the people who supported me, not to the platform that took 8% commission from us all. The platform didn’t help me to get a single patron. All the leads were generated by my own website and activity on other social media. So after this platform blocked my other project I’m kinda questioning if they should be involved in the transactions further.

    I thank you all very sincerely for your support. Every person who has given me money online is automatically put on my thank-you list. Today I have 11 emails to which I am sending a password that you can save and use later for special treatments. I will never forget what you did for me.

    If you continue supporting me on Patreon, you can always use it to send me DMs. Patrons also still have priority for custom candle orders and events.
    If you are my Patron and read this – feel free to comment on this post or send me a direct message about the type of content you personally would like to see more of.

    But as of this month, I stop producing unique content for Patreon since I don’t want to encourage new users to open accounts here because of my content.

    I’m working on providing alternative ways to support me and will keep you informed. I hope you understand me.

    Love!

    Sicut

  • Thoughts, nudes, Gene and candle packaging (train update)

    hello, darlings

    I have no pictures on my phone from last Saturday and half of the performance that I did that night unfortunately was not documented at all.

    However.

    slides from the performance on 25.02.2023 at Kitkatclub Berlin
    slides from the performance on 25.02.2023 at Kitkatclub Berlin
    slides from the performance on 25.02.2023 at Kitkatclub Berlin

    That night for sure is going to stay in my memory and most likely in the memory of others who witnessed the show. Some pictures are coming for sure, but later. Today I only give you a chance to see how Gene was seeing me in the last few days. I have to say, I’m feeling inspired and refreshed.

    As if we got one step closer to overthrowing capitalism and killing putin at the same time.

    Below are the pictures of my outfit where I want to advertise a piece from Danilov Harness and in general just keep pointing your attention to amazing kinky brands from Ukraine.

    leather chain by Danilov Harness
    originally this was a skirt
    but I mostly wear it on my chest
    I got this item as a gift from a lover from Dnipro
    I’m wearing it weekly for already more than a year
    the quality is quite good!
    I’ll show you more ways of using it soon
    support Ukranian fetish brands

    I’m very grateful to my colleagues from Let’Z Fetish academy and Ari Denaro specifically for letting me do my art and supporting me in my craziness.

    ALSO! A huge thanks to Ben for being so helpful and brave, sorry I burned your wiener!

    Another gallery of pictures where I’m already a lot more dressed shows the process of packing and signing candles. I don’t buy any special package material, all candles are packed and signed by me, and with packing materials that were already in use.

    Gene has a few more candles in Berlin for picking up. The store is close to being launched. Now preparing drops for Paris and London and can accept 1-2 custom orders.

    That’s more or less it for now and the train is almost arriving in Prague. Thanks for reading me.

    Love!

    Sicut

  • Snapshots and backstage of the camming experience

    Updated. Here is a minute of vertical material from my phone. Later I’ll spill parts of it on social media, but patrons get it al now.

    This time we made 10 candles, got 3 tokens of tips, some new followers, nice compliments, and dumb questions, of course.

    I definitely enjoyed the part about being watched but it’s we know this already.

    Knowing that I’m probably confusing the shit out of the audience by not playing menu games or anything that they used to expect there adds a special flavor.

    I also liked the part where I chained my Elf to the stairs and went for a break. We should do this more often.

    Tomorrow I plan to not only make candles but test them and take pictures of them for the store.

    Will try to start around 8:30 am

  • Thank You! (reflection update and Psycho Dark gallery)

    June’s reflection brought me to not only publish that nude yoga video (June’s reflection part 1) for public observance but also to write this appreciation post, where I want to say a massive

    THANK YOU

    to the people who supported me with my exploration journey in 2022.

    First of all

    Thank you, Patrons! Without you believing in me at the beginning of this year, I wouldn’t be able to gather the inner resources to do what I eventually did.

    This website is the result of my fight for finding my own way in this life.

    The show is on, thanks to you.

    The reflection project is my attempt to make my blog better structured and more consistent. But I feel like it’s a great investment in life for people like me, who like to live fast and devalue our own achievements. It feels good to slow down, breathe, and look back.

    thank you, Ari Denaro

    For the door to the kinky Narnia backstage of Let’Z Fetish Academy that you so kindly opened for me, and thanks for supplying me with tools and techniques as well.

    Ari Denaro is showing how things are done. You can see me trying to compete in the background.

    But most of all, thank you for accepting me for who I am, accepting my ways, and the ethics that I carry. Thank you for your free spirit, curiosity, and will to understand new.

    I’m grateful for your trust. But you know this already. So just fucking big ass thank you, dear Ari!

    Another huge thank you goes to Julia Vilianen

    for the amazing headpiece, for being an even more amazing friend, and for all your talent and help! I can’t wait for the next round of creating something together.

    The outfit for Psycho Dark party in June that you see in the gallery below was done by Julia. I think I’d like to wear it more next year, I like I how it makes me feel. If you go to Ari’s website you can see more pictures from Psycho parties btw.

    thank you, PierreW.de for the pictures

    It’s always a pleasure to deal with you, and thank you for being so sweet.

    Here is the gallery. Enjoy!

    Thank you, beautiful Ángela. You were such a pleasure!

    Since I started naming people, I’m not sure exactly how to stop. It’s so many of you, my dear friends and lovers, to whom I want to scream: THANK YOU FOR BEING IN MY LIFE.

    But let’s make a deal. I’ll name the Slut, Gene, and Sil because I already introduced them here and they are my closest family. Thank you, darlings, just for who you are.

    I also have to name Shanti and Kay, because they are involved in the recent posts. Shanti gave me an Interview about hooks and ropes, and Kay was once a very cool creative partner in crime I used her pictures to illustrate another post (Born weird) that I decided to make public this year.

    So the rest of the deal is that I stop naming people I want to thank, so we can all have our lives. And you start clicking on the links and getting to know me a bit better. Because that was the whole plan.

    Support my blog if you like the content. I’m planning to have a few days off from posting now, and come back with fresh nudes and stories. I still have so much to tell!

    Thank you all,

    love you,

    Sicut

  • March raw reflection

    (CW: nudity, self reflection from march 2022 written a year after)

    Let’s begin with the reflection session results this time. I started with taking pictures. I tried different angles, but the look from the bottom seems to be one of my favorites.

    In the process, I decided to spank myself a little. Mostly to make that slow-mo video, but also to get a reminder about the sensations that I give to others. It felt good. 

    Another video was originally just to choose some snap-shots from, but I like how real I am there. 

    Now let’s get to the story I have after reflecting on March 2022

    Pain and pleasure essentially are the same thing. Sensations. Sometimes we forget about this fact. But it’s all in our heads. I had a painful butt for a week in March, and I enjoyed every day of it hurting just because it was my decision to get that damage.

    We humans are very funny creatures indeed. Every time I sat down I was feeling the pain, but I liked it, and even now, after almost a year I feel a lot of positive emotions about that pain. No memories attached, really. It just felt good.

    It was a roller coaster month otherwise. I had absolutely incredible experiences, and the darkest moments of this year as well, all mixed up.

    I started Patreon, but kept writing in russian, and even though I already understood that it had to stop, I kept following the old program. I guess I was just not able to not write about some things.

    On the positive side – I got better at finding adventures for my ass. I met Ari and started using Fetlife. More of my fantasies became actions. For the first impact play workshop, I chose to go for a switching session, and not only tried all popular spanking devices that are offered by Let’Z Fetish Academy at Kitkatclub but got a nicely bruised butt with exactly the same choice of tools back. The results you can see below.

    But this was my fun life

    My real life continued falling apart. Most of my income directly involved russia. I had a European franchise business there, I was consulting on marketing and business strategy, basically, I was a bridge between the modern western world, where I lived and consumed information, and the post-Soviet purgatory, that had just opened the gates to hell.

    Balancing those two lives brought me questions.

    Which one is real?

    Which one should be real?

    Can I make a living out of blogging about all this?

    The concept of the blog I had before seemed like a setup to failure. (I had about 8000 followers of russian-speaking audience on Instagram, where I was posting about keto food and open marriage experiences, but that was more of a side project for me to digest emotions and feel seen.)

    What do I have to offer? I knew I like to be seen, and I like to interact with an audience. I was craving the excitement of playing with them, and being in control of the game. I fantasized about the attention of many. Not necessary to like me. But to notice me. Acknowledge me Feel something. But fantasies and reality are not easy things to connect, so I’m glad I believed in myself enough to follow the art of small steps and explore what it brings. 

    launching Patreon was not a spontaneous desigion. I blogged already for a few years (in Russian of course) on Instagram
    I liked blogging, but I didn’t want to be trapped in one platform
    The adventures of my ass continued, I was crazy to share that experience with other, my audience in the blog I had back then wasn’t ready to see the next picture
    That’s not how popular Instagram content looks like. At least from the perspective of the majority
    Here I’m celebrating the launch of Patreon and still trying to ignore the language issue I’m trapping myself in
    Moments of sadness are there too, but I keep planing adventures, just with a sad face
    cat recovered after covid and went into siren mode screaming at the door every day. So I took him for a walk along the wall
    the bruises are with me for the rest of the month
    I start playing with different cameras and my head start generating ideas for cam shows
    Sharing the lovers with other lovers turns out to be extra fun. But not without drama
    one of the sunny mornings, when I woke up and started writing a text right away
    The world is falling apart, but at least I’m taking care of myself
    Gene is just being fabulous and always there to help with my drama
    Am I a pimp now? Do I like this idea? Fuck yes
    Me and the cat looking into the future with hope
    telling Gene about my pimping career and bruised butt
    Hard to explain why this picture makes me smile, but it does and it reflects the mood I had in March 22, so here it stays

  • February raw reflection

    (Trigger warning: suicide and war topic)

    February was a disaster month. The first half of it I was battling post-covid depression and weakness in my body, and just when I started climbing out of it, the war started. I wanted to die from that virus. I had so many plans and hopes that crashed. But also so many doubts that just received concrete solid confirmations of the worst. Workwise, I was utterly unhappy. I had a lot of projects, but they all seemed pointless. Stupid games, where the only factor that mattered was money.

    I realized that wasting my life in order to just chase money or do something else with it was actually in the range of my control. It had to be something else. But the reality was brutal and dark. The world seemed to be all about money. Or the power that money  brings.

    How the fuck do other people not freak out about this as much as I do? Why does everyone seem to find it all somehow acceptable? Am I the only crazy one?

    The day after the war started, I went on a date. On the way, I thought it was a shitty idea. I was empty. But that date was a blast, I swear I had nothing like this before. It felt like I opened some magical door in my body: all the sensations got an upgrade. Every orgasm was stronger than another and I didn’t feel overstimulated. In fact, I wanted to have the levels of stimulation that my sensitive body was never ready to experience before. I sort of managed to relax into it. I don’t know how many times I came that evening, it would be foolish of me to even attempt to count. And at some point, of course, it stopped..

    My legs were shaking for an hour afterwards. The best I could do was a joke that I probably overdosed myself on sex for a few days. But I came home and realized that I was horny again. Another thing I remember thinking, looking in the mirror: I was happy.

    Happy, horny, and ashamed of it.

    I think I was kinda ashamed of that horniness. Good thing I had my therapist. Together we accepted the positive truth: it felt good. And that was the most important thing. As if my body decided to give a reward for all the stress and sadness it had endured.

    So I can almost say I was prescribed to have good sex for mental health reasons. I think it was a very good trick. Almost like it wasn’t my decision, because I wasn’t exactly sure if I deserved happiness. I mean this kind of happiness, especially.

    Why not?

    I didn’t realize that I was still so attached to Russia and the mentality that it programs into people. That shame of horniness was definitely a gift from my past. I was still trapped in the concept of being “a good girl”.

    And good girls are not horny all the time, and they definitely don’t plan their life around sex events.

    But are good girls happy?

    feeling alive 5 min a day after shower. The rest of the time rather miserable
    forcing myself to go for short walks and planing dates with lovers
    colorful hair as a part of therapy
    berlin sends messages
    finally the coat gets to go out. The top on the photo is covering tits, but I planned to put it down later
    digesting the party experience and documenting nipple stickers
    telling Gene the squirt shower story*
    selfie on the day before the war
    24.02.22
    going to see the slut
    joining other people from former soviet countries to process what’s going on
    for me the protest walk didn’t feel like a protest. More like a funeral possession: completely useless for the cause of event, but somehow necessary for everyone around
    I think somewhere here I started seriously thinking about working with Gene. Before we were just friends that got close during the pandemic years
    *The squirt shower story

    …happened shortly before the war. Since I wanted to visit more venues that hosted kinky parties, one of my lovers invited me to a club I’d never been to. We planned that date for quite some time, tickets were bought online, and the process of choosing the outfits and discussing other details was one of the pleasant things that month, actually helping me to feel better. Pink hair also wouldn’t have happened without that party plan.

    I was sharing this story with my followers on TG, but back then I was still writing mostly in russian. That was the only text I wrote in English that month. I think I didn’t really understand how hard it is to just switch languages. But I’m glad I didn’t understand that back then, it didn’t stop me from taking the small steps forward. It is worth the struggle.Β 

    As I say