We’re here in the Algarve until the end of February, and we’re curious to get to know local kinky and queer folk. For that matter we’re setting a few dates to meet collaborators, lovers, friends and in general people who are curious just as we are.
Who’s we?
I’m your mistress Sicut Dico. Gene is here with her immersive music, art, and more. We have a few friends along with us, who might be able to satisfy your other needs if the time comes for it.
Locations
We are currently based between Albufeira and Lisbon. We would love to know what locations are the most comfortable for you. We could meet at our villa, apartments, the beach, your place, or more. Just let us know!
Tease of the possibilities
There’s lots you can learn about what we do from our website and from the options below. We kindly ask you to fill out this form with the options that appeal to you most. Once we know what you’re into, we can get around to satisfying your needs.
This night was an immersive play in 4 acts and also a social experiment. The first two acts were unfortunately not documented due to organizational issues. But they remain in my memory and I’m sure also in the memories of those who were there that night.
I had a lot of people approaching me and telling me nice things, like that what I do is real art. It felt good at first. But then I saw how the money jar started filling up with coins, notes and.. business cards.
This part made me sad somehow. So I’d like to leave questions here. Why do some people think that their opinion is worth more than a few euros? Or is there something wrong with me?
I’m only here to bring up the questions no else can. That’s my power. The rest is yours.
That night I went to the club neither to not judge nxor ruin the party mood. I think I wanted answers for myself. I got them and feel grateful.
(Dear Manuel, thank you for your patience and will to make it work).
I learned so much that night
My brave sub was that night both a candle holder and a message carrier. I used their body to hold my laptop and display text slides. They also talked to the guests, played, and explained the slides to them, though at certain moments, this wasn’t an easy task at all.
Here you can see the slides that they displayed.
They also wrote this poem after. I think it can partially replace the missing pictures.
Massive thanks to Let’Z Fetish Academy at Kitkatclub Berlin and Ari Denaro personally for letting me take care of the clinic, special thanks to Simon for rescuing the photographer for me, and to Elina and Lilith for being amazing, supportive, but also mean and hot AF!
My laptop de-branding sticker was designed by Maladie_tattoo.
MONEY SECTION
All the money collected that night went to support Ukrainians. If you read until this point I wonder if you are curious about how much money we actually got.
I will tell you, I promise. But first I’m asking you to guess the number that you thin it is. Once you submit your guess, you’ll get the answer. What do you think of it?
Done. Didn’t manage to cover all the questions. Will try to continue tomorrow around the same time. Thanks a lot to everyone who joined. Here is the recording.
UPDATE 20.12.2023 17:58 PM
Darlings, my streaming equipment just refused to work for some time, but we are all set finally and starting in a few min! sorry for a delay
And the main topic is MONEY!
yay?
Yes, you can ask me how much I was paid for a piss and how I dared to ask for a 10k deposit. All of it.
This offer isn’t just a way for me to make some cash. It’s mainly to show others what’s possible.
Yes, this is both an act of self-presentation and an act of support for other sex workers and other artists trying to sell their work.
I don’t know exactly what the stream will look like. I can only guarantee one thing: no one has ever done this before.
So get down here around 4pm CEST tomorrow (20.12.2023) and let’s see where it goes.
The text below I sent to my lawyers in response to their “I hope everything went well” on my return from the outdoor performance that I call now the hammer message (that I went to deliver in person to the city of Prague’s police drugs department. Click here to read the message text)
“Everything went perfectly, I couldn’t have imagined it any better. I arrived barefoot with my poster hanging from a hammer, and I stood in front of the drugs department for almost 3 hours.
I hadn’t managed to prepare the Czech translation properly and had only used the text in English. So I expected very few people to understand my message. Maybe tourists, and they were really funny, some tried to give me money and realized that wasn’t the point.
However, I’m proud and impressed by the way people reacted to my message. I’m proud and impressed by the way the police treated me. I didn’t feel threatened, but many of them approached me. They also took photos from the windows. They smiled. One of them called what I had done a performance art and asked me if it was right to call it that. One of them said “Good luck”. Nobody spat in my face. Nobody told me to leave.
So I intend to come back with a version of my message in Czech and a slightly different structure of it.”
How did I feel after?
Calm. As if I’d done exactly what I had to do. I think that’s what you call being fulfilled. I wrote most of this the next day, but I decided to give it more time to see if I still feel that way later.
Yes, I still do.
I also feel grateful to myself for allowing this experience to happen. I think I’m still decoding what I learned that day. And for sure I’m still processing the feedback.
Here’s a first glimpse of what I have to share.
1st half-hour
In the morning, the traffic wasn’t calm and I sensed a lot of anxiety in the driver. I told him I wasn’t in a hurry and when we arrived he was calmer than before. I suppose I took some of his anxiety with me.
I arrived at 9:08 AM. I was full of anxiety, but it wasn’t mine.
(I left home wearing flip-flops, but in a taxi, I immediately took them off and put them in my bag. Touching the ground with my naked soles was somehow calming me down.)
The first hour was the slowest, the easiest on my mind, and perhaps the hardest on my body. I chose the spot, took my hammer out of the bag, put the poster on it, and started to meditate on my breath to slow it down. I looked at the buildings, the trees, the windows, the cars, and the people.
I recognized smells and heard sounds, but above all, I concentrated my mind on a single task.
To stay as far away from judgment as possible. Just to observe and be there. I only wanted to bring the message. I was the message.
The first people to interact with me were tourists. They tried to give me money. A coin.
I wasn’t prepared for that at all. I didn’t accept the coin. They insisted a bit. Not verbally. They spoke German in front of me, assuming I couldn’t understand them. While I was thinking about what I could say to them in German, they left.
My body tensed up after that. The longer I stood there, the more uncertain I felt. I wasn’t cold, even though I was dressed very lightly, but I was frozen. I could feel different levels of anxiety from outside, absolutely everyone around me was more or less anxious, whereas in my mind alone I felt peacefully numb.
I saw a lawyer arriving late to an anxious client, people waiting for an appointment without knowing what was going to happen to them, people arriving and parking anxiously, forgetting things in their car, typing something on their phones.
All kinds of anxiety were somehow presented to me there
How do I know that? Anxiety has a particular smell for me. It’s slightly bitter. I wish I could explain more.
At the time, I found it interesting to observe the extent to which anxiety allowed others to notice me. For example. The most anxious didn’t see me at all.
The construction workers smiled at me a lot. They were the calmest people I’d encountered there. And I started to smile back. And almost immediately I felt my body become lighter and stronger. That was the key.
I started smiling at windows, at people in cars, and even at grumpy faces.
When the first two people who obviously worked in one of the buildings came up to me and nodded, I smiled at them, probably like an idiot. They were standing in front of me and really reading my text, line by line, both of them.
I was ecstatic to have the chance to observe them so closely, but I also felt that my main aim at the time was to make them feel as comfortable as possible when reading my text. I tried to give them space and not stare at them all the time. It wasn’t easy. I was curious to see their reactions.
The second half of the hour
The later it got, the more people there were in the street and the more overwhelmed I felt.
My original idea was to change places every 30 minutes or so. But when I got to the second place, some lady came and told me I wasn’t supposed to be there.
So I moved 30 meters and realized I was in front of the drugs department. The universe had spoken. I changed my plan and stayed there for the rest of the time.
2nd hour
After 10 o’clock, the street really came alive. More clients and lawyers. More cars. More tourists. More anxiety.
I smiled at the windows and noticed that I was being photographed.
A lady from a nearby Kostel came up to me and said that we should find God together in church. I replied that I had already found God who had told me to be exactly where I was. To do what I was doing. I didn’t even feel weird saying that. I meant it. I still mean it.
The lady didn’t like my answer. She looked at me disappointed and walked away mumbling something unclear.
3rd HOUR
After 11 o’clock, I had to move back, closer to the wall of the building, so as not to disturb passers-by. Once or twice I had to ask people who stopped to read my message not to block the whole street. I knew I’d need a break soon. But the situation was getting more and more interesting.
I found it particularly fascinating to observe again and again how some people seemed to be eager to tell me what they were thinking, but when someone else approached, they stopped talking and walked away. As if they could only speak with me when no one else was close.
I left just before midday. At first, I thought I’d take a break and come back. But my body sent me a few clear signals that the show had to be over with that. And my mind agreed that we should come back with the message in Czech.
I think that was the most important thing I realized that day. It’s definitely the language I want to learn and speak.
Why did I do this?
I think that was the question that was asked the most that day. Not only from the people in uniform but also from strangers. Some asked me if it was personal. Had they done something for me? Or a friend of mine? One Canadian dude really tested my patience by asking me to tell him whether I was for or against the police.
I continued to say that I was there to serve art and love. And to point out that we don’t prosecute for tools like hammers, but we do for other tools like drugs.
I felt like someone had to do what I did
We don’t have to be stupid squirrels. We have god-like technologies and tools already and acting rather medieval when it comes to regulating them. This can change. We just have to stop acting as if we know what’s right and wrong. We don’t. Not yet.
It was not an act of protest. Neither did I try to support anyone.
To be completely honest – I had no clue why I was doing it until it was done. Until I was there.
Now I know
Or let’s say I know more than before. I needed this experience to understand my own strengths and weak spots even better. It was quite a therapy for me. Especially the feedback I received after.
Now I know I’m not alone for sure. I always thought so. But now I really know.
I’ll share more on this topic soon. Thank you for reading this. If you like what I’m doing consider supporting my work.
“Bodies” is Gene’s favorite track from this album, so we started with it.
I hope we can recall here that our human body is in fact the most sophisticated of all drug dispensers, simply because it can produce unique cocktails specially designed for us.
I hope we’ll be grateful to our bodies more often.
Update. It’s 13:06 (25.07) I got back home and washed my feet, and now my plan is to briefly write down the things I want to share here and then I need to take some rest.
I’m impressed. I knew it was the right thing to do, but I had no idea how kind this city is. Thank you, Prague! To everyone who stopped, who looked me in the eyes, who took pictures, who asked questions, to those who smiled, and especially to the grumpy ones.
I love you.
I know, my message was long and confusing. I’ll try to change it next time. Right now I have a lot of tension in my body because I was holding a hammer with my story hanging on it for almost 3 hours. But I never felt that free. And now I know a little bit more about how to phrase myself better. I know it’s hard to understand my motives. It’s okay.
I didn’t go anywhere else. I thought I’d sit down, have a break and continue for another hour or two. But my body was not ready to do more. I can’t say it was my easiest performance. But it wasn’t hard either. I don’t know how else to tell you this. I felt like I was doing exactly what I had to do.
…
The text below is written by me today so I could print it and personally display it tomorrow in Prague’s city center. I plan to start here at 9 am and be there for 3-4 hours at least. I’ll keep my location updated. If anyone wants to come and talk to me or take a picture together. You are very welcome. Also, feel free to help me by sharing this post wherever you feel like. Thank you.
Dear people of Prague, I’m standing humbled and grateful for the right to share my story with you. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not here to protest, and certainly not to judge anyone. I’m just a girl who sells herself on the internet and is happy to do so. Not really the judgment material, right? Good. That’s my goal.
I’m here to say: thank you, Czechia.
Also, I believe in you! Especially today!
I believe that those whose duty is to judge today would do well to be very careful and remain human.
I know we can. If anyone still can – I believe it’s you, the people of Prague.
I am grateful for the free air I breathe here and I want to return the favor with the most precious thing I have: honesty.
The ability to be naked. Not just physically. But also spiritually.
This is a dark story about drugs and suicide. If you are feeling triggered, don’t read on and ask for help.
I want to share what I’ve learned and what I think about drugs as someone whose classmates used to celebrate the end of the year with heroin.
I was born in 1986 on a piece of the old Silk Road, russian territory, technically, but five times closer to Mongolia than to Moscow.
As far as I could find out: I’m half Dutch and half Ukranian if the linguistic and geographical characteristics of my origin are anything to go by. English is not my native, but the preferred language I speak at home.
I’m a hyper-sensitive queer female, a former project manager, marketing strategist, and web developer who gave up on corporations and is only willing to serve art and love.
My cousin died from drugs at the age of 25. I started smoking weed at around the same time, when I was 13, at the same time as I tried alcohol and tobacco. But I mostly developed addictions to alcohol and tobacco. I only smoke weed now, for the last 1,5-2 years.
I’ve tried to live sober. I can, technically. I did a lot of therapy and still do. I help other people to stop drinking now and find a lot of support in it. Living in Berlin I found a lot more souls like myself and I’m glad I’m not alone anymore.
I just have one problem – from time to time I just can’t see the state of the world and feel like burning myself in the main square just to hit the lucky bingo. Put me out of my misery. And give you a reason to think that maybe everything isn’t going so well inside people like me.
When I smoke certain strains of weed, I can forgive myself for not being perfect. For feeling what you call “too much”. I can self-reflect and understand myself better. That’s why I moved to the Czech Republic. I feel a bit safer here than anywhere else to be that kind of addict.
I gave up smoking cigarettes only at 26 or 27. Alcohol addiction stayed with me until 32. I smoke weed for a few years now. I’ve never done anything I regret after being stoned. I can’t say this about alcohol.
Legal drugs are the worst. Because they are everywhere. Because people keep offering you a drink even if you try to ask them not to.
I’m sure I could easily live a sober life in a sober world.
But do we have one?
We have to understand that the issue is not THE DRUGS AT ALL.
The issue is the escape that more and more people are craving.
Desperately.
To just break out from this cruel and harsh reality, we are all trapped in. Just for a brief moment.
This May I went to Norway for vacation. I tried to bring weed with me. I was not hiding it. I just could not imagine this could cause any issues for me. I was stupid. So I was processed by the police there for 4 days and that caused me a mental health crisis. At least 12 people were involved.
12 people. for 4 days. were dealing with one suicidal girl and her few grams of a plant that is growing on our planet probably longer than we exist.
Is there logic?
Why do we not ban tools like hammers and knives, but do this with other tools like drugs? How do we select good and bad drugs?
Why do some people in the police believe that it’s a good idea to shake those kids selling the wrong drugs on telegram instead of looking at the other end of the mess?
Is it just me seeing this as a very safe way for police to do their jobs technically but also only treat the symptoms and punish people who are the most vulnerable in the whole chain?
Could it maybe be different if we try to protect the weakest? Not to punish them further for being vulnerable in the first place?
Again. I’m just a girl who sells her body on the internet and advocates for art. I’m no one to judge. I just have questions. Or let’s call them thoughts to share.
I don’t have the answers either.
I’m not talking only to the Czech Police here. I’m addressing everyone in the system all over the world who has a human heart.
I’m only here to say that I think we can find our answers faster if we try to hear each other before we judge.
Thank you for trying to hear me out.
Thank you for being a place I want to live FOR and AT.
If you’re still reading this and want to ask me a question, please do. In-person if you still can. Or by e-mail.
Let’s keep it here for the record. No matter what I start doing in this life – I have those moments of self-doubt. If I should really do what I have imagined?
I was rather unhappy with how I handled this group in May, I could have done so much better I thought. I even thought about shutting down this project once or twice.
ALWAYS. Every fucking time.
The only reason things are happening in my life – I don’t let the doubts win. I always have to try and see what happens next. And almost always it is worth the effort.
So let’s try to keep going. This month I think I’m more or less happy with the messages that I’ve prepared for you. The recording is below with time codes by block.
Here is the email for your questions or requests to join in whatever format – sw@sicut-dico.com
Also
In the video, I’m mentioning that I consider sex work to be performance art. I highly recommend looking into Marina Abramovich’s view of performance art essentials for everyone who would want to join my perspective. Start with this lecture for instance.
00:00 – part 1/6 – organizational block; communication request: what is support for you? invitation to try different formats
10:25 – part 2/6 – undressing and bla-bla – nothing meaningful, just the moment where I’m getting naked
12:50 – part 4/6 – preaching: sex work is a kind of performance art (why we need more happy sw’s to save the world)
30:00 – part 4/6 – explaining my web strategy pillars: safety, sensitivity, clear borders, warnings, and small steps. Everything in this world has a price.
46:34 – part 5/6 – comments on my own website
54:10 – task talk with white and unsorted stuff, a bit of preaching, also the moment where I explain why we will get banned on IG.
If you like what I’m doing, please, help to spread the word about my project or consider supporting my blog.
Most of the content I created last night was video and it needs to be processed. This post is just a pile of data available at the moment and my typical gratitude to the audience and people who have trusted me in other waysOn the menu we had candles and sessions. In addition, we performed blind temperature sensitivity tests and collected lots of fun data. I’m impressed. But we need more data.Of course, one other person touched me because I’m so sweet and naked and everything is love. Of course, that person was taken to our sweet and friendly security team upstairs. I feel like we should talk about rules more often and not when someone has already slapped my arse while I was closing my bags at 6 am. Way before.I’m not sure I want to run a Telegram channel again, but it seems the Berlin crowd is using it one way or another. For now, I try to keep you up to date with Mastodon’s help. At least with nudes and online events.
Evil candles will land in Ari‘s collection. Nice to see KitKat thriving and fucking again. Video is coming, but first I need to sleep more and share the energy I got with other SWs tomorrow.
I try to keep you up to date with Mastodon’s help. At least with nudes and online events.
UPD – support group at 11 AM CEST is happening as planned, more info will appear here.
My chaturbate room stays embedded at the end of the post. Next time I plan to be online on Monday the 29th of May. To join the Q&A session say hi to me via sw@sicut-dico.com
19.05.2023 15:13 The first round of broadcasting is done, uploading the recorded video now, and will drop it here soon.
Did eventually 2 rounds of broadcasting, received one token at the end, and one comment on Mastodon with a “thank you”.
18.43 Now I feel like I didn’t say even half of what I wanted to say. But let’s count this as one more reason to continue.
20.05.202311:59 Here is the recording from yesterday. My imposter syndrome was especially strong this morning telling me to not post the video because I’m too honest, too vulnerable, too stoned, and/or just not good enough. But I decided that I don’t have the right to judge.
uncut and unedited so far – will reprocess it and add subtitles later if anyone else finds it helpful
13:56 Asked Gene to look at the material, in the meanwhile sent a link for prepayment to a client and talked to another who picks up freshly done candles today. This is a moment to remind myself about my own rule. Actions are always better than words. I’m fully booked in May. June and July are half gone. I have more plans and clients to deal with than I can possibly take as a single human being. I sell candles faster than make them and I didn’t even start advertising the store yet.
No, this is not an accident.
Yes, I totally believe that other people can get there too and this world needs more happy sex workers and free creators of any kind of safe and fun experiences.
Wanna know how I ended up preaching to artists, pimpin’ out queers, and doing sex work for mental health reasons? I’ll tell ya. But let’s start with the main point then.
Yes!
You Can
Do Whatever Makes
YOU
Happy!
Too!
I believe in you! Why? Because I tried and it worked for me. Not all from a first try of course. However.
My website didn’t exist a year ago. I didn’t always feel strong enough to embrace my inner artist, nor to shout loudly into the void about myself, and yet here I am.
I have the urge to share some unpleasant truths. No, it’s not all glittery unicorn poop.
One of them: it’s complicated. And messy at the beginning.
I used to educate myself on marketing and business strategy because I wanted to live an independent life, travel, and buy nice things, but the longer I lived, the more I got to realize that the most important things in this life are not things.
But feelings. Emotions. Experiences. And memories about them.
Money is just a resource. But for some people money is everything. It is sacred, tabooed, and feared. Almost like sex. And together they make a very funny cocktail, not many people yet get to appreciate.
What does it all mean?
Sex work should be destigmatized. And to make this happen we should not be afraid to share how it’s done.
19.05. 13 PM CEST (live on Chaturbate (35-40 min) where I’ll tell my story in steps (intro into my whole life, my professional experience, life after addiction, empowerment effect of SW, values and strategy, why I so much believe in myself and stuff) – streaming will be also available here on my website. The recorded version will be available the next day.
29.05.11 AM CEST live Q&A session (30-35 min) – request the link via email at sw@sicut-dico.com
