(CW) sober gathering with undressing options after 22pm
UPDATE SAT 22.06
Unfortunately, the weather is too wild and unpredictable today, so we’re giving you our support via personal messages.
Here’s the telegram link, if you need help today, write to us there, we’ll check it every hour.
For Mycelium members, my location may be revealed, but it seems today I’m moving around the city a lot.
The kinky agenda will be taken care of by Sil and me starting tomorrow.
UPDATE FRI 21.06
We decided to start with a picnic on the Tempelhofer feld, so we do not limit the capacity of participants. Please still let us know if you want to come via email, we will send you the pin. (The location will be automatically posted for Mycelium members).
We will start the gathering at 16:00. Please spread the word so everyone who is in need of such event can know and come.
Here is the update on the part about being sober, since I’ve received a lot of feedback from people who would like to moderate their consumption but can’t give it up completely.
Please share this with anyone who needs support to moderate their substance use or has mental health issues related to cruelty of capitalism.
Our sober gathering on Saturday is FREE and open to everyone.
We don’t require you to be absolutely clean.
We won’t shame you or judge. Won’t tell you how to live either. We will be just there to talk, hug, and listen to the music.
We just ask that you don’t use anything during the event and that you don’t encourage other participants to use any substance, including sugar and caffeine.
The live music from Bogolepov will happen in acoustic format at around 17:00.
After 22 there will be options to join me for the kinky event, use the same email to sing up.
no substances consumption during the meeting: water only, no smoking
event is free, donations will help a lot (online donations via mycelium)
MAIN MESSAGES
the world is broken, not us – how to fix it? we talk. that is a start already!
we are all different and thus we seek help & recover differently.
how to respect that? – i will ask the group each time what would they personally see as triggers.
what should we avoid doing or saying? so each live gathering might have additional rules according to sensitivities of the participants. please respect them.
how to respect our differences and triggers and still talk about addictions openly? please share your ideas or concerns with us viamoon@sicut-dico.com
chicken and egg, IN A NUTSHELL 😉
chicken & egg dilemma or vicious circle, name it as you like, but here it is:
the more pressure we feel – the more we crave escape – then we develop addictions and need to escape from them too. sometimes we just trade or substitute addictions. but do we really escape?
we try to ban drugs without understanding that our bodies are the most sophisticated drugs dispensers ever existed, we can’t ban nature. we need to understand and take control. everyone needs to find what makes them happy. sounds easy, yet reality is hard.
for many of us even basic formula of healthy living is hardly accessible. sensible nutrition and active lifestyle, essential for good mental health and for support of our self-love and self-confidence, become somewhat of a luxury. even the knowledge itself of some specifics of your body is a privilege, as it is only available to those who have access to medical services.
how to change it? how to survive it?
together it’s easier. and even though we might not have much money, but what we have is our community. for many rich people it’s an unknown luxury.
if you feel like it is somehow fucked up, you are right, it is. humanity is going into a dangerous direction.
Here is the event concept that I want to dedicate the whole next year to. And it’s not about entertainment. It’s about survival. It is basically a very sophisticated version of an AA support group without god or guilt.
Why addiction?
Because I am an addict. And most of us are.
But I am the lucky one. I learned how to survive and now want to support the ones who are a bit less lucky.
For whom?
For everyone who doesn’t fit
Artists, atheists, sex workers, everyone who has any kind of addiction issues and especially those who don’t find traditional support groups helpful for them.
The main goal is to put an end to the hopeless cycle of making money with money for money’s sake, but this is a long-term endeavor.
So we can start by supporting the most vulnerable ones: artists and addicts. Sometimes these groups intersect for whatever reason.
When and where?
Every full moon. Online. And offline from May.
Updated in May 2024, after receiving initial feedback. It seems that Berlin needs this type of event more than others.
24/04/2024
Full Moon Addiction I: Berlin
23/05/2024
Full Moon Addiction II Berlin
22/06/2024
Full Moon Addiction III ?
21/07/2024
Full Moon Addiction IV ?
19/08/2024
Full Moon Addiction V Berlin
If you have a location where you want to host us, reach out via moon@sicut-dico.com
Why?
In this world, everything has a price. But not everything can be bought with money. No, the world is not black and white. We’re all different. We’re more than two genders, more than good and bad, we’re becoming more complex by the minute.
We live in a world where equality is synonymous with helplessness. We are prisoners of a rudimentary knowledge of the world. We make children and adults addicted to their own dopamine on a massive scale, and it’s totally legal and called social media. Yet if they manage to smoke a herb that human beings have been using for thousands of years, we prosecute them and deny them a future.
And I’m not even talking about the responsibilities of the pharmaceutical and food industries on the scale of addictions and other health issues. I don’t want to make things look too dark too quickly. I hope we can learn together how to put an end to this mess. But there is a lot of work.
My artistic goal here is to build a community of people who agree that the most important things in life are not things. At least, not material things.
My personal goal is to control my addiction to tobacco and replace it with the euphoria of helping people be themselves.
What?
Donation based tickets will be available 3 weeks before (pay what you can). One week before prices for tickets go up for the first time. Then we are rising prices on the day of the event again. It’s still capitalism, sorry. At least this way certain amount of tickets will be available for lower prices.
Support group will be available for everyone registered. For free online. Donation based offline.
We will offer separate tickets or a bundle. Yearly pass option should be available too. Online and offline. Hopefully this way some parts of the event will finance the other.
How?
To be notified when tickets are available for the next event, send us an email at moon@sicut-dico.com. And don’t hesitate to share your story with us.
It is a full day event starting at 12 midday and ending in 10-12 hrs, consisting of 5 blocks:
AUCTION / AWARD / SUPPORT / REALITY CHECK / HEALING
The auction consists of exhibiting and selling a series of works of art. The event will start with the intro of the artworks. The auction itself will take place at the very end of the event.
Award is actually about humor. I’d like to invite stand up comedians to take part in the event and make it less dramatic. (In April, the prize goes to Germany for legalizing pot and to the police in general. They win a chance to laugh and accept reality together. Also a bit of gratitude. But not all of them. I will explain this personally.) I also invite journalists and politicians to join public debates on the topics. But for the first event I just imagined a 40-50 minutes comedy show with my moderation. My guess here is that we might not be ready to talk about certain things seriously until we get to laugh about them. It’s a theory to test.
Support consists of inviting all sorts of addicts that don’t fit in other groups, as well as the people who live or work with them, to an honest conversation. Without judgment, but with a consensual exchange of views, feelings and positions. I’ll share part of my story, invite people to share theirs or ask me questions. I went to a number of support groups over the last few years. Some specialized on alcohol, some treating all addictions as sicknesses. Most of them made me feel guilty. Or broken. Yes I could see people there who seemed to be even more broken. Here is my short story.
I stopped drinking in 2018. Since 2022 I almost live without suicidal thoughts and panic attacks. I regularly support other people with similar issues. I eat and exercise. My health is finally okay and getting better. I work on multiple projects. But I smoke weed. Now I am planning to give up tobacco btw. It bothers me. But I don’t want to give up weed. I don’t smoke every day. Weed is the only drug that doesn’t make me feel like having more and more of it. I can moderate it. It is still an addiction. No plan to argue with that.
Should I feel broken though? I don’t think so. Moderation is the key. This is what I learned so far about addictions – it is so much easier to control them if we face them, call them by their names, don’t judge or punish, but understand why they form. At this point I simply want to share what helps me. And perhaps offer other people to tell their stories.
Reality checks will happen for each their own. I intend to talk about issues surrounding substances and addictions.
If it comes to my personal routine. I won’t be smoking anything the week leading up to the event. So I can have some sober experience to live through every time and be able to support others.
I do not want to promote smoking weed. But I also don’t want to hide if I do so. I think we should simply look for new ways of dealing with addictions. That I can’t imagine happening without dialogue.
I would also like to talk about the absurdity of testing strategies used now. Example. If I smoke a lot of THC weed at some point and then stop, get tested a few weeks after, the tests that are used right now most likely will not help me to prove that I didn’t smoke those weeks before. And the general issue of the misperception of good and bad drugs in our society. Or tolerance issues. The hypocrisy we foster out of ignorance will cost us dearly.
This part is for the good of future generations of sensitive people like me. We should learn how to not create addicts. Instead of stigmatizing some. Or rewarding others. In the long term I would also like to invite doctors to a discussion and those who can respect my sensitivity could actually examine me, and I’ll be happy to share my knowledge and experience with them.
photo by sashaperova.com
The healing session will be led by Gene Bogolepov. She has prepared an intense and sensual 30-minute audiovisual experience. I guess here I wonder if I can have issues with calling a musical performance a healing session. I honestly believe that art can heal. But we are not promising miracles either. The world is broken, not us.
Closing of the auction will also be streamed online.
How much?
free or donation based for support seekers, tickets to the show via mail list, mycelium members – free
All proceeds from the event above expenses will be donated to Ukraine.
As an artist, I’m generally interested in exploring the theme of sex and politics in the same room. I believe it’s still possible not to spoil the party atmosphere, but also to educate and raise awareness while offering new experiences. Please note that I don’t exist solely for entertainment.
However, as an artist eager to be commercially profitable, I fully understand the need for entertaining activities. So here’s a brief list of possibilities for an interactive waxplay station and shows. My work can be a fast, deep experience that captures all attention for a short time – that’s a package with bogolepov. Alone, I can do all-night performances in a few acts that have different levels of audience interaction.
As an anti-capitalist, I want to make it clear that I’m open to non-profit work in support of righteous ideas and needs, yet the more commercial the event agenda, the less likely I am to be cheap.
One sub performance
This is a great way to get the party started. I can finish setting up my human candlestick in front of the audience, then perform the tests or play with my victim. I usually use the steak thermometer with a needle, and sometimes offer to have the guests help me. Sometimes I ask the victim to hold the thermometer and shout out the number. It all depends on what you want from the show. The softer versions are more elegant. But I can also do more edgy things. It’s important to understand the audience’s expectations.
Interactive Station
A station is a place to experiment with different melting-temperature candles, compare them, and learn how to use them safely. When interacting with guests, I personally guide them on how to use the candles, offering safe methods for experimentation or even a quick session. I have several approaches to presenting waxplay and typically choose the one that feels most fitting in the moment while speaking with someone.
For larger events, I can bring in trained assistants to handle one or two specific scenarios, ensuring more guests can participate while maintaining safety and quality experiences.
Performances with a group of subs
I can work on a stage or immerse my show in the venue. 20 years’ experience in event production allows me to guarantee to do the best with what’s available. The more people involved, the more time I need to prepare though. Or more money.
Waxing myself
You can look at the photos of my products in the waxplay store to get an idea of what I can do. Yes, I can do it in front of an audience (if the audience is safe). I can also talk to people while I’m doing it. Politics or sex? Both, of course. Again, the level of weirdness can vary: I can be dressed up and wax my feet or… use your imagination depending on your budget.
Immersive performance with sound and video effects
with Gene, we offer shadow theater performances, sexual healing dance sets and custom installations with other creatives. To find out more about Gene, click here
This was originally a summary of a recent conversation with a party organizer. I’ve decided that you all have the right to know what kind of shows I can do. Don’t forget to read the “how to buy me” article if you want to book me.
This post is the hardest I’ve written so far. However publishing it seemed even trickier. I’m glad I made it though.
WHY at all?
I’d like to be very clear with my agenda behind making this story public:
I’m not seeking revenge or punishment for people who were involved with me. I think they did their best.
I’m not trying to shame the nation of Norway. I’m not considering myself in a position to judge here and my point is far deeper than nations.
I’m not asking for pity or attention for myself here either. I’m okay now, unlike many. I’m telling this story exactly because I feel the power to. Because I’m still alive.
I also know that people will see what they like to see. I can only give you my honest perspective of this all. Not much more.
This story is told to share the feelings behind the events. Feelings have no concept of right and wrong, they simply exist.
So do I. This story is also a compromise with myself. I’m alive to tell it and see where it brings us all.
I decided to assemble the events in a timeline so my perspective can be seen better. But first I want to put all the cards on the table for people who don’t know me at all and give another set of warnings.
Please stop reading if my words trigger you and ask for help. Send me an email if you have no one else to talk to, but allow me up to 48 hrs to respond.
About me and my message
I’m a hyper sensitive person, recovering alcoholic, who has only been living a mindful life for the last couple of years. While my own suicidal thoughts are slowly going away I have stronger intention to share not only my drinking story and episodes like this one but leave one message to all sensitive souls who feel like it’s just too much for them:
it’s okay to feel what you feel.
The world is broken, not us.
Now let’s finally get to the story.
DAY 1. noon – and first 5 people
“What a cute doggie” – I said to my husband right before the moment that cute doggie ran to my direction and technically ruined our next 5 days of vacation. Not trying to blame the dog here. Just wanted to mention this detail to express my level of not being ready to have issues with my weed at that moment.
(I admit, That was naive behavior. I wanted to see what I wanted to see. Maybe this is why this all happened to me in the first place. The universe has a habit of giving me harsh lessons.)
The first group of people who processed us were the customs police of Kristiansand. They asked me to move the car to a special box where I handed over all my… drugs. I had two rolled joints with tobacco in my purse and a bag of weed in the luggage.
Of course they still did a full search for more drugs. They stripped us naked in separated rooms, I had to wait extra for a female to do the procedure. All our belongings were dropped on the floor out of the car. I remember at least 5 different people involved. They were all polite to us, offered water, and when I asked how bad and how long it would be for us, they somehow told me both that it might take from a couple of hours to a full day but not much more.
We all understood that the crime was not a real crime.
There was no victim
At that point I felt rather safe.
Once the search was done they told me that now foreign police will come and talk to us. We were allowed to collect our stuff and put it back in the car. This is where the safe feeling started fading. I picked up my pillow from the not-exactly-shiny metal bench trying to not think what else had touched that bench before and almost puked.
“I could have just not taken that weed with me. Or not kept it so open. Why do they treat me like a criminal? They sell this stuff over the counter just a few sea miles away.” – All those thoughts in my head were slowly turning into anxiety.
Afternoon – and another 4 people
Foreign police didn’t come. Instead, it was a couple of regular city police officers who said that I had to come with them and they delivered me to the foreign police office. When I asked what was happening to me, they said they didn’t know, but it should not take long.
“Is it all my fault I’m going to be stuck in here? What do they want from me?” – I started panicking when they told me that they are not going to put me in a cell and made it sound like it was the good news part.
I explained my previous experience and background. The people seemed to be trying to be nice to me. But they also didn’t know shit. They had no idea what would happen to me. Nor did they know what to do. They assumed it wouldn’t be too bad. But then I could see how this not too bad started fading away behind the frustration. I was still a criminal to them. A foreign criminal.
It was a hard day not just for me. I could sense the frustration for everyone.
At the end of the day they said I had to come back the next day at 12. And the day after. And another day. Until they figure out what to do with me.
This is where it turned into a nightmare for me
They did this to me in Russia. I had to visit the police daily and sometimes they would totally not accidentally hit me with a door or just simply into the stomach. I knew this should not happen in Norway. But overall I wasn’t sure what I could know anymore. I started thinking about death.
This was all my fault. Again. I’m an addict who can’t survive sober. Why should I even try to survive? I realized that I had a pocket knife in my waste bag. It just ended up there after the search.
I started wondering if killing myself in a police station would help them reconsider their ideas if I committed a crime or not. This was a strange moment when I had those thoughts they actually finished explaining to me how they don’t know what will happen next. They simply had to go home. They also could not see what was wrong with my panic about coming back tomorrow and the day after.
I mentioned the suicidal part btw. This may have played a role in them allowing me to not show up for anything on Sunday but I’m not sure.
We had a hotel booked not far from Kristiansand. A fancy one of course. I knew I needed help and thought somehow the people in the hotel would know what to do.
I was very straightforward at the reception: I said, I have a mental health crisis and very strong suicidal thoughts. Can I talk to someone? Can you help me find a hot line?
They did give me a number. But no one picked up there. I survived that night because my husband was there for me. I don’t know if I could have done it alone. But I for sure realized that night how bad alone can be for people like me.
Day 2 (+3 new people involved)
I woke up and started crying. I almost could not talk. Felt frozen. Wanted to die.
I clearly remember how I was also wondering if killing myself on the main square of this town was better idea? Rather quickly I decided that it was not. Other people didn’t deserve to see it.
In the meanwhile we arrived back at the office where things went from not too bad to no one can tell what was happening.
What started there was absolutely unimaginable. For me. For everyone else first it seemed like a normal day. Of course, again completely new people met me at the police station. New shift I guess. But it was 3 of them at once, and one was always standing around the entrance with arms crossed on the chest.
Language torture (+1)
They came up with the text that would inform me about my rights and they had to deliver it to me. Guess what? They brought a Russian speaking person to read it (on the phone, but still +1 more person involved) . And I’m ready to bet, this person worked for the investigation committee in Russia before. I just know how they talk. I had hoped I could forget that.
This is where the real torture started. They first didn’t even understand what they did to me. Part of my mind was still telling me – they can’t beat you up. But what’s the difference? I already wanted to die.
The text was ridiculous. Well. Now I know. They were telling me what kind of crime I had committed and that the punishment would be expelling me and also cancelling my residence in the EU.
The cruel part is that at the moment I didn’t know how impossible this was. I mean they could expel me, but not cancel my residence. However in the moment the trick worked – they scared the shit out of me.
They almost made me believe that I committed a crime.
At that point they kindly allowed us to leave. Of course still holding on to my passport and expecting me to come back on Monday at 12. For what? The next step. What kind? No one knows.
They were all very confident that they were simply doing their jobs. However I can’t not leave a remark here that they also multiple times called Czech Republic “Czechoslovakia”. Since my residence in from Czechia.
Not sure what else to tell here.
day 3. Waste of fuel
The next day they called me and told me that they decided to stop the case because they actually realized that they can’t cancel my residence. So they also decided to not kick me out.
I was of course happy to hear they finally did what the first people processing me expected them to do on the first day. They will fine me and leave in peace.
Honestly – even a fine I consider unfair and stupid. But it’s not the topic. At that point I was happy to pay the fine and be free.
BUT
They still had my passport and we drove 200 km away from Kristiansand. The police people knew about this. All of it. That we had a boat booked in Stavanger with 4 others a long time before the pandemic. That we were going to be on this boat and then drive back EXACTLY through the same town.
So I thought maybe we could pick up my passport on the way back. Since they already wasted 3 days of my vacation and also so we didn’t waste fuel driving back and forth for reasons that no one can explain in short words.
What do you think?
Of course they made me drive. I felt like this was a personal thing for someone there. If they can’t ruin my life, at least ruin one more day of my vacation.
Day 4 (+1)
Of course it was one more new person involved. Maybe it was the same person who talked to me on the phone the day before. But still. The total count of people that were involved with me and my weed was by then at 14.
But this is it. Now, after more than 6 months I haven’t even received a fine. I guess they got the part that they made me pay with my time and health.
14 people for 4 days were highly paid to do things described above for the sake of safety of their fellow society members.
Here we are. No call to action. Thanks for reading. Feel free to ask questions below or via email.
Photos for this post are kindly taken by Lars, a Norwegian photographer that contacted me on Fetlife shortly after I got back from Norway I have nothing but an amazing experience meeting and working with him
We’re here in the Algarve until the end of February, and we’re curious to get to know local kinky and queer folk. For that matter we’re setting a few dates to meet collaborators, lovers, friends and in general people who are curious just as we are.
Who’s we?
I’m your mistress Sicut Dico. Gene is here with her immersive music, art, and more. We have a few friends along with us, who might be able to satisfy your other needs if the time comes for it.
Locations
We are currently based between Albufeira and Lisbon. We would love to know what locations are the most comfortable for you. We could meet at our villa, apartments, the beach, your place, or more. Just let us know!
Tease of the possibilities
There’s lots you can learn about what we do from our website and from the options below. We kindly ask you to fill out this form with the options that appeal to you most. Once we know what you’re into, we can get around to satisfying your needs.
This night was an immersive play in 4 acts and also a social experiment. The first two acts were unfortunately not documented due to organizational issues. But they remain in my memory and I’m sure also in the memories of those who were there that night.
I had a lot of people approaching me and telling me nice things, like that what I do is real art. It felt good at first. But then I saw how the money jar started filling up with coins, notes and.. business cards.
This part made me sad somehow. So I’d like to leave questions here. Why do some people think that their opinion is worth more than a few euros? Or is there something wrong with me?
I’m only here to bring up the questions no else can. That’s my power. The rest is yours.
That night I went to the club neither to not judge nxor ruin the party mood. I think I wanted answers for myself. I got them and feel grateful.
(Dear Manuel, thank you for your patience and will to make it work).
I learned so much that night
My brave sub was that night both a candle holder and a message carrier. I used their body to hold my laptop and display text slides. They also talked to the guests, played, and explained the slides to them, though at certain moments, this wasn’t an easy task at all.
Here you can see the slides that they displayed.
They also wrote this poem after. I think it can partially replace the missing pictures.
Massive thanks to Let’Z Fetish Academy at Kitkatclub Berlin and Ari Denaro personally for letting me take care of the clinic, special thanks to Simon for rescuing the photographer for me, and to Elina and Lilith for being amazing, supportive, but also mean and hot AF!
My laptop de-branding sticker was designed by Maladie_tattoo.
MONEY SECTION
All the money collected that night went to support Ukrainians. If you read until this point I wonder if you are curious about how much money we actually got.
I will tell you, I promise. But first I’m asking you to guess the number that you thin it is. Once you submit your guess, you’ll get the answer. What do you think of it?
Done. Didn’t manage to cover all the questions. Will try to continue tomorrow around the same time. Thanks a lot to everyone who joined. Here is the recording.
UPDATE 20.12.2023 17:58 PM
Darlings, my streaming equipment just refused to work for some time, but we are all set finally and starting in a few min! sorry for a delay
And the main topic is MONEY!
yay?
Yes, you can ask me how much I was paid for a piss and how I dared to ask for a 10k deposit. All of it.
This offer isn’t just a way for me to make some cash. It’s mainly to show others what’s possible.
Yes, this is both an act of self-presentation and an act of support for other sex workers and other artists trying to sell their work.
I don’t know exactly what the stream will look like. I can only guarantee one thing: no one has ever done this before.
So get down here around 4pm CEST tomorrow (20.12.2023) and let’s see where it goes.
(The offer is expired. No IRL meeting requests (update from 1.06.2024))
This post is primarily a photo gallery. To read more about us, you can click here for information.
I bet you want to see more of J’s photos, right? I would too. Enjoy!
J is a new-age geisha who loves to play as much as she loves to do shamanic sessions. She specializes in femdom, impact and wax play, electro games, and ropes.
Maybe we’ve piqued your curiosity?
There are so many ways to get to know J. Maybe you’d like a spanking? Or a tea ceremony, perhaps. Or both at the same time?
And since we’re here, here are a few photos of me as well, seeing as our collaborative offer is posted now
