Does the value system in which we currently live always bring the wrong people to power? Or does power itself corrupts those who have the most to do with it?
I don’t have an answer for you on that.
But I can at least take steps to ensure that the wrong people have less power over me and that I certainly don’t help any of them to become more powerful in any way.
I’ve already mentioned that Patreon really managed to piss me off and I gave myself time to calm down. But nothing’s really changed, I’m still just as angry as before that they’ve turned into a fucking corporation. Or have they always been one?
The thing is, they didn’t do anything to me directly. They did a lot worse. They fucked someone I was helping and messed with my feelings by doing so quite a lot. I don’t forgive that shit easily. Especially when it comes to business.
To change things, I first have to admit that I was wrong to promote Patreon, lock up unique content behind their paywall, and encourage others to get a Patreon account to see my content.
I don’t want to do that anymore. I hope my dear patrons will understand: I appreciate your support, but I don’t want to create some kind of monopoly on how to support me.
I’m not terminating my account on Patreon, but it won’t get the priority it had before. Let’s say it’s punished for now.
What does it all mean?
From now on I open the comments on all new posts and most of the new content will be public.
I’ll provide more options to support me and my projects in the next few days.
I have no pictures on my phone from last Saturday and half of the performance that I did that night unfortunately was not documented at all.
However.
slides from the performance on 25.02.2023 at Kitkatclub Berlinslides from the performance on 25.02.2023 at Kitkatclub Berlinslides from the performance on 25.02.2023 at Kitkatclub Berlin
That night for sure is going to stay in my memory and most likely in the memory of others who witnessed the show. Some pictures are coming for sure, but later. Today I only give you a chance to see how Gene was seeing me in the last few days. I have to say, I’m feeling inspired and refreshed.
As if we got one step closer to overthrowing capitalism and killing putin at the same time.
leather chain by Danilov Harnessoriginally this was a skirtbut I mostly wear it on my chestI got this item as a gift from a lover from DniproI’m wearing it weekly for already more than a yearthe quality is quite good!I’ll show you more ways of using it soonsupport Ukranian fetish brands
I’m very grateful to my colleagues from Let’Z Fetish academy and Ari Denaro specifically for letting me do my art and supporting me in my craziness.
ALSO! A huge thanks to Ben for being so helpful and brave, sorry I burned your wiener!
Another gallery of pictures where I’m already a lot more dressed shows the process of packing and signing candles. I don’t buy any special package material, all candles are packed and signed by me, and with packing materials that were already in use.
Gene has a few more candles in Berlin for picking up. The store is close to being launched. Now preparing drops for Paris and London and can accept 1-2 custom orders.
That’s more or less it for now and the train is almost arriving in Prague. Thanks for reading me.
Update. I’m slowly edition and will be adding more pictures soon
Visiting Istanbul reminded me how dangerous and broken this world is. The last time I was here was in June 2022 and I also took a few nudes here, which I show in the reflection post.
This time the room is not as photogenic, but it keeps me from feeling too bad, so that’s good enough.
Thank you for your kind support. I feel it every day.
Updated. Here is a minute of vertical material from my phone. Later I’ll spill parts of it on social media, but patrons get it al now.
This time we made 10 candles, got 3 tokens of tips, some new followers, nice compliments, and dumb questions, of course.
I definitely enjoyed the part about being watched but it’s we know this already.
Knowing that I’m probably confusing the shit out of the audience by not playing menu games or anything that they used to expect there adds a special flavor.
I also liked the part where I chained my Elf to the stairs and went for a break. We should do this more often.
Tomorrow I plan to not only make candles but test them and take pictures of them for the store.
Yesterday was a day of technical misery and frustration; I was too ambitious about my plans and didn’t think everything through.
So the issue was, that from two cameras only one was recording 😞. We will try again next week to make a proper tutorial for patrons.
But for now, I just squeezed the 20 minutes into a single one, so we all can enjoy the butt of my lovely friend Lishka💕, who actually tried waxplay for the first time yesterday!
Also, she could confirm that some of the candles are pretty mild. On the edge of boring. So we’re looking to fix that 🔥for the next time too.
January 2022 was full of unsexy shit. I went to Russia to see my mom and got Covid on the way back. It’s harder for me to feel sexy in a country where the oppression of sexuality is part of the ideology. The air I breathe there reminds me that I simply don’t belong. I noticed people looking at me like they were scared, or in the best case, frustrated.
But I managed to make that trip not so awful in the end: I went snowboarding, had a lot of massages and good food, and ordered some tailored clothes for going out. That’s what I want to focus on for today.
I ordered not just regular clothes, but a few sexy outfits that I specifically planned to wear at sex parties and similar events. That action was extremely empowering. I’m not sure if I understood exactly in January how much I had invested in myself, but I’m glad it happened.
I was talking to the tailor (a friend, and a client of mine) about the purpose of the items and she asked me a question. What do I do when I go to those places? What is happening there? She was extremely curious about details and honestly, I didn’t know what to say.
I didn’t really know myself yet.
The best way I could phrase the answer at that moment was this:
I like to be seen naked. Or half naked. Show my tits to be precise
I like the attention that I get from people. I like the thrill of preparing for the party— thinking things through in my head, defining boundaries, and searching for curiosity peaks.
The longer I was questioning every bit of morality that I grew up with, the more I could see how quickly the power of social prejudices faded in my eyes. I’ve enjoyed the results quite a lot. Back then I was still afraid of what would come out of me, but I knew I owed myself this exploration.
And you know what happens when you tell people you are into sex clubs? They start telling you their own personal things. I don’t know if it’s a general rule or it just works that well for me, but I get many personal stories from many different people. And this kind of information helped me tremendously to accept myself through understanding how different we all are.
Getting the clothes specifically designed for being naked made me feel grown up and powerful. As if I owned the world. I knew already from my business experience that a good suit or a good dress can make you feel stronger. When we like ourselves, it’s easier to believe in ourselves.
To feel real
So for my first reflection session, I wanted to wear those items and film myself. Here are some screenshots from the result.
Originally I just wanted a funny and easy-to-wear coat to have something warm and blanket-like for parties. But the tailor specialized in suits, and her new collection samples were in the showroom. I tried the red suit and fell in love with it. One of my subpersonalities always wanted to look like this. I think it needs some leather or latex accessories, but I have no plans to wear it with a shirt or anything else under it. Just naked skin. And my tits.
I think it’s important to understand that in January I would not yet put the fetish label on myself openly: I was too scared of it. I was just exploring my sexuality! The whip was stored in a box under my bed, and I would never have believed anyone if they told me that by the end of the year I would use that whip publicly not just once, but in a few European capitals. And that people would give me money to get whipped!
No fucking way I would believe that!
Life is funny. What can I say? In the gallery below you can see some pictures from that time. I didn’t meet my kinky lovers that month, I think I only had good old home sex and nothing else, but the thought processes in my head were all about planning and arranging new experiences with other horny sexually open people in the future.
snowboarding definitely makes me happy. Even when equipment is falling apartfirst of Januarythe food is niceselfcare is cheapand sun is warmnew haircut was a mistake, but I like bleached hairguitar and organ concert. Loved itcoat making processthis lunch probably costed me covidsecond half of the month was so so, but I change my hair color againa lot of time in bed, and not the right kind of bed timethe cat got sick too, poor fucker was sneezing a lost his sences of taste and smell
Apparently, this was the most boring month of the year, especially if we try to look at it from the sexy POV.
note from myself in 2024
It was my last visit to a terrorist country where I obviously didn’t want to see what was already visible. No one sane wanted to see that in January 2022. However. The fascism was already there. Everyone just preferred to look the other way. I guess this is exactly how fascism is being cooked in the end. Enough good people just need to stay ignorant.
So how is this connected to the point we have started with? Well. I hope this at least serves as an introduction of my background, but the bigger mission behind is to explain why cant I simply stay away from politics? At least in this blog that was supposed to be about me exploring “the realms of sexuality”.
It simple for me. We can’t afford staying away from politics because it is the only way to prevent fascists from taking over. I’ll try to explain more on the way.
I have tons of those pictures on my phone. Taking nude selfies appears to be good practice for me, it helps with my mood.
Today I had a very unpleasant Monday with very unsexy business, and I’m not saying that nudes can fix that, but it’s a good distraction for me now. Plus I’ll use this series of selfies as an example to explain more about how I deal with the content.
This text as a full story will be only available to the patrons, but bits of it I’ll throw to different social media because I want people to understand how things work.
All the content first goes to this website. In this case, I have complete control of it, also I can lock parts of content behind the paywall and by that express my gratitude to you, the people who support me. It’s also about trust. You trust me with your money, I trust you to see everything raw.
So here we have a gallery of 40 pictures and a video that I made of them quickly.
Last night was my first evening with the oldest local BDSM club and I stayed until the very end of the evening. Absolutely in love with Katka and her BDSM pub with playrooms and a concert hall.
This is the fastest post on the website whatsoever! Less than 24 hrs from the events. Very proud of myself, thank you all for the motivation. Below are the videos and a few of my notes to myself after last night. Enjoy!
Note 1. Next time I need to bring some cleaning supplies if more waxplay is happening.
Note 2. Filming and flogging at the same time is wrong. But fun.
Now you know where to find me on Thursdays in Prague.
Sil found this place on the internet. But one of my friends told me about it too. So we wrote them an email and met the management. And yesterday I finally met the audience!
It felt like a very fast night, I had home-like tasting food, pet one very cuddly kitty after, looked at some bloody nudes on someone’s phone, while testing new candles and the playground equipment, and had a lot of sugar-free mate. I felt safe and welcome. I hope we cleaned after the wax-play well enough, I promise to be less messy in the future!
We will organize an event in this place in March. Something very queer.
Follow me on FetLife for events and dates announcements. If you live in Prague and would like to collaborate with me, send an email to sil@sicut-dico.com.
For my patrons there’s another post with 3 minutes of video where I play with candles and try to whip the person and film at the same time. Works so-so, looks funny though.
