I’m grateful that you decided to try my candles, and if it’s your first time, the basic info below is meant to make your experience safer.
Please read it carefully before playing!
what do you need to know about waxplay to enjoy it?
No hard rules have to be followed apart from consent and safety. Things can be very, very, VERY different:
- sensual and slow with single drops,
- intense and intriguing with solid streams of wax,
- in combination with impact play,
- mixed with sex toys,
- also, you can turn your Sub into a human candle holder.
Whatever you do, you can absolutely do it and, (as other strangers on the internet would confirm, you have the right to choose whatever suits you best to explore your kinks. Do what you like, if it’s safe and consensual, everything else is totally optional).
Below I only describe things so you might consider them, but only the person lighting up the candle knows exactly how the play will go from there.
This is where the control exchange begins and all the beauty of it.
negotiation
Consensual power exchange starts with respect to this power on both ends. Being in charge is a responsibility! At least this is how I see it.
Every session must begin with the negotiation stage and the party starts right after. For shy people, I can recommend negotiating some details in text messages (it’s always helpful to give all sides enough time to think things through), but I personally enjoy having little chats with my victims face-to-face about the following topics:
- safe words (red, green, yellow – always work well);
- areas on the skin where the wax will be applied and where it should not go;
- what else is going to happen or what should not happen;
- where exactly will the play happen (because waxplay can be messy)?
Wax play is essentially pain play, and even though my candles can be quite mild, the whole point of the game is to produce the chemicals in our brains. And as far as I know for those fuckers pain and pleasure can be exactly the same thing. But how to get there – everyone has their own unique recipe.
room preparations
Well, let’s start with the practical side: you might want to care for the furniture, leather surfaces, and carpets because it might be difficult to clean the wax from them.
You also might want to plan the escape path to the bathroom or shower for your victim.
If I have to improvise I usually use a bedsheet to cover the floor or wherever the sub is placed, or I cut a few big garbage bags and tape them to the floor, rubber sheet etc.
A good Pain game takes time and patience
It starts with making sure everything goes through the steps so the pain level increases slowly. It’s always nice to start with hands. Just spank the spot. Or massage if you want to keep things sensual.
Everyone is different, don’t assume, ask. Explore together with your partner(s).
Always try new candles on your own skin. Ask your partner about allergies. Ideally – make a little test before playing.
do and don’ts
- be careful, and remember the pain delay: the drop lands and heats a few seconds longer (try for yourself)
- do spank, massage, or pet the area before
- do combine with other practices and sex toys
- do ask for feedback (at the beginning especially)
- be creative and enjoy the mess
- don’t surprise people with waxplay
- don’t play with intoxicated people and watch yourself with substances
- don’t ignore the fire safety basics
- don’t play in an environment or location that will hate you for the wax after
- don’t use candles as dildos! (they soften from body temperature)
where to put wax and not
- first, start with a 20 cm distance between skin and flame, don get too close to the skin!
- keep the wax away from the eyes and ears
- be careful with hair
- genitals are okay, but only after gaining specific consent
Removing wax
Removing the wax from the skin is much easier once it’s completely cooled down.
Thicker layers of wax fall off in bigger pieces, while single drops might stick to the skin more. You can try to prolong the play and scratch the wax from the skin with nails or something made of metal. Another fun activity is to whip the wax from the skin with a flogger, but I’m not sure if it’s still about basics.
aftercare
Give the Subside some peace after the session. No jumping around for the first 5-10 min, and in general the longer the play was – the longer the aftercare should be. Of course, everyone is different, and some people might feel very active and elevated after, while some are tired and empty.
Applying creme or aloe vera gel on the skin after the session might be very pleasurable and recommended as part of an excellent aftercare protocol.
After long painful sessions, aftercare is essential and is highly important to help process the experience and leave the most positive memory of the play.
Have fun! Stay safe and mindfull.
Your S.