Yesterday was a day of technical misery and frustration; I was too ambitious about my plans and didn’t think everything through.
So the issue was, that from two cameras only one was recording 😞. We will try again next week to make a proper tutorial for patrons.
But for now, I just squeezed the 20 minutes into a single one, so we all can enjoy the butt of my lovely friend Lishka💕, who actually tried waxplay for the first time yesterday!
Also, she could confirm that some of the candles are pretty mild. On the edge of boring. So we’re looking to fix that 🔥for the next time too.
This one is intimate. I’m giving you the view that only my husband could enjoy, and he said he very much enjoyed it, along with his morning coffee, back in my old flat in Berlin.
So I suspect some of you might enjoy it as well🙂.
For the exhibitionist inside me, my balcony in Berlin was an excellent place to get some relatively safe exposure on a daily basis.
And nude yoga was an excellent recharging practice for me. I still remember the cold wind on my private parts. It felt so nice! And right now, I’m really missing that feeling.
I did this more than once, but only once I filmed myself. Later I had no idea what to do with this video, not for the whole year.
(CW: nudity, self reflection from march 2022 written a year after)
Let’s begin with the reflection session results this time. I started with taking pictures. I tried different angles, but the look from the bottom seems to be one of my favorites.
In the process, I decided to spank myself a little. Mostly to make that slow-mo video, but also to get a reminder about the sensations that I give to others. It felt good.
Another video was originally just to choose some snap-shots from, but I like how real I am there.
Now let’s get to the story I have after reflecting on March 2022
Pain and pleasure essentially are the same thing. Sensations. Sometimes we forget about this fact. But it’s all in our heads. I had a painful butt for a week in March, and I enjoyed every day of it hurting just because it was my decision to get that damage.
We humans are very funny creatures indeed. Every time I sat down I was feeling the pain, but I liked it, and even now, after almost a year I feel a lot of positive emotions about that pain. No memories attached, really. It just felt good.
It was a roller coaster month otherwise. I had absolutely incredible experiences, and the darkest moments of this year as well, all mixed up.
I started Patreon, but kept writing in russian, and even though I already understood that it had to stop, I kept following the old program. I guess I was just not able to not write about some things.
On the positive side – I got better at finding adventures for my ass. I met Ari and started using Fetlife. More of my fantasies became actions. For the first impact play workshop, I chose to go for a switching session, and not only tried all popular spanking devices that are offered by Let’Z Fetish Academy at Kitkatclub but got a nicely bruised butt with exactly the same choice of tools back. The results you can see below.
But this was my fun life
My real life continued falling apart. Most of my income directly involved russia. I had a European franchise business there, I was consulting on marketing and business strategy, basically, I was a bridge between the modern western world, where I lived and consumed information, and the post-Soviet purgatory, that had just opened the gates to hell.
Balancing those two lives brought me questions.
Which one is real?
Which one should be real?
Can I make a living out of blogging about all this?
The concept of the blog I had before seemed like a setup to failure. (I had about 8000 followers of russian-speaking audience on Instagram, where I was posting about keto food and open marriage experiences, but that was more of a side project for me to digest emotions and feel seen.)
What do I have to offer? I knew I like to be seen, and I like to interact with an audience. I was craving the excitement of playing with them, and being in control of the game. I fantasized about the attention of many. Not necessary to like me. But to notice me. Acknowledge me Feel something. But fantasies and reality are not easy things to connect, so I’m glad I believed in myself enough to follow the art of small steps and explore what it brings.
launching Patreon was not a spontaneous desigion. I blogged already for a few years (in Russian of course) on InstagramI liked blogging, but I didn’t want to be trapped in one platformThe adventures of my ass continued, I was crazy to share that experience with other, my audience in the blog I had back then wasn’t ready to see the next pictureThat’s not how popular Instagram content looks like. At least from the perspective of the majorityHere I’m celebrating the launch of Patreon and still trying to ignore the language issue I’m trapping myself inMoments of sadness are there too, but I keep planing adventures, just with a sad facecat recovered after covid and went into siren mode screaming at the door every day. So I took him for a walk along the wallthe bruises are with me for the rest of the monthI start playing with different cameras and my head start generating ideas for cam showsSharing the lovers with other lovers turns out to be extra fun. But not without dramaone of the sunny mornings, when I woke up and started writing a text right awayThe world is falling apart, but at least I’m taking care of myselfGene is just being fabulous and always there to help with my dramaAm I a pimp now? Do I like this idea? Fuck yesMe and the cat looking into the future with hopetelling Gene about my pimping career and bruised buttHard to explain why this picture makes me smile, but it does and it reflects the mood I had in March 22, so here it stays
I have tons of those pictures on my phone. Taking nude selfies appears to be good practice for me, it helps with my mood.
Today I had a very unpleasant Monday with very unsexy business, and I’m not saying that nudes can fix that, but it’s a good distraction for me now. Plus I’ll use this series of selfies as an example to explain more about how I deal with the content.
This text as a full story will be only available to the patrons, but bits of it I’ll throw to different social media because I want people to understand how things work.
All the content first goes to this website. In this case, I have complete control of it, also I can lock parts of content behind the paywall and by that express my gratitude to you, the people who support me. It’s also about trust. You trust me with your money, I trust you to see everything raw.
So here we have a gallery of 40 pictures and a video that I made of them quickly.
Last night was my first evening with the oldest local BDSM club and I stayed until the very end of the evening. Absolutely in love with Katka and her BDSM pub with playrooms and a concert hall.
This is the fastest post on the website whatsoever! Less than 24 hrs from the events. Very proud of myself, thank you all for the motivation. Below are the videos and a few of my notes to myself after last night. Enjoy!
Note 1. Next time I need to bring some cleaning supplies if more waxplay is happening.
Note 2. Filming and flogging at the same time is wrong. But fun.
I met Shanti through the kitkatclub’s dungeon master, Ari, and on the first evening, she taught me how to make a handle for a human.
Questions for Shanti I gathered from my Instagram audience and one of the popular ones was – how do the scars from body suspensions look like? Here is the answer from Shanti’s back.
The Pillow talks idea was one of the most ambitious this year, I thought I’d make them once a month. Haha. The next one should be with Ari Denaro, btw. let’s see. Below you can see the key topics with time stamps, and links to videos that I used from Shanti’s Vimeo account.
This conversation was recorded in two 20 min pieces in my study in Berlin with 10 minutes break, my idea was to make it fast and real. It’s definitely real, I didn’t cut off much material. The “fast” part obviously leaves room for improvement.
From my pimping side, I’d like to inform you about options to use my service to book a workshop, session, or a show with Shanti in Berlin or Prague, if you need a partner or want to be tied up you can also leave your contact here, or simply write your request to booking@sicut-dico.com. If you are too shy for all that, at least follow her on Insta.
0:30 – introduction
1:30 – ropes or hooks?
6:00 – the difference between traditional shibari and rope art
7:30 – workshop introduction
8:30 – different ropes for different sensations
11:00 – workshop levels and my personal experience
13:00 – about partners for workshops
16:00 – workshops for advanced levels
17:30 – jumps and suspension with hooks
18:00 – Shanti’s first jump and personal experience
This party definitely deserves a longer story. It was a private party with free entrance. Someone just bought the basement and us as entertainment. The first gallery and videos are mine. Below there is another gallery by Elad Itzkin Photography.
Another workshop with whips. With every workshop, I was gaining confidence. Tools are just tools and nothing more without the knowledge and experience on using them. Ari was a good teacher. Funny and demanding at the same time. I could smell his experience.
Princesses do actually exist btw. I found one obviously. She was brave and pretty that night, but it didn’t help her to escape the punishment.
