Full MOON support group for artists, atheists, sex workers, everyone who has any kind of addiction issues and especially those who don’t find traditional support groups helpful for them
The Requiems project was first performed in Berlin and later in Prague, featuring music created by Bogolepov. Our original idea was to address the “elephant in the room” before the show at Berghain: a stark reminder, first to ourselves, that the war in Ukraine is ongoing and that it’s dangerous to let ourselves grow numb to it.
This time, we included Rage, song by Nadya Tolokonnikova, founder of Pussy Riot. Wearing that pink balaclava felt especially powerful, particularly while watching embassy workers grow visibly uneasy, anxiously ushering visitors inside.
I’ve received many kind words of support recently, and I want to say how much they mean to me. Surprisingly, this felt easy to do—even though it involved 2.5 hours of holding a 6-kilogram speaker without a break for water or a toilet. Once again, I felt like I was exactly where I needed to be, doing what I’m meant to do.
During the performance, we played the four songs twice at each of the five spots around the venue. Sil filmed the last three locations, capturing the raw energy of the event. She’s already back in Kyiv, catching up on sleep amidst the ongoing Russian bombing of her city, which is why she hasn’t posted further updates yet.
(All funds support Sil and her family in Kyiv—$900/month needed)
This is our second action in Prague. I hope we can inspire more people coming to other embassies of the terrorist state or other places of gathering with our playlist
Help us funding Sil, here’s the support link again. On the night before the event, she also took many new photos of me, including several intimate, unfiltered shots. Read a post about her work on Gene’s page.
This event wouldn’t have been possible without the incredible support of Expat Legal, my amazing Czech attorneys and personally Mr. Enes Zaimovic, also my dedicated assistants, Paw and Sil.
How much does it cost to organize such an event?Speaker (rent from 30EUR, buy from 130), original Pussy Riot Balaclava 40EUR)Support of like minded people is essential and pricelessfluffy toys and fake blood 20 EURlegal support costs me around 600 EUR per action in Czechia but mostly because I do not speak local language. In Germany we did this on our own with Gene
For around 10 years, I lived in a limbo of anxiety and self-doubt. I understood that I was weird. I got that part. And I also understood that it wasn’t always a bad thing. But I still had no idea how to live with it.
I moved to Berlin and realized I was an alcoholic. Yes, I know how that sounds. Why would I come to such a realization in a city where avoiding drugs can be quite the challenge? I don’t have an answer. It just happened. One day, I woke up, found an empty wine bottle I had hidden the night before, brought it to my husband, and confessed. He had no idea. I was good at hiding it.
That moment is one I’ll never forget. It was hard: scary, first of all. I felt exposed. Broken. Ashamed. Lost. But also liberated. I didn’t feel strong at the time, but now I can’t ignore how much stronger that truth made me. Not all at once, but day by day, it’s started to feel like a superpower.
That’s how I traded one addiction for another. I don’t need substances if I can be honest. Alcohol was just a tool to numb the pain of not being accepted for who I am.
This is technically our fourth moon together. If I wasn’t still convinced that we all need to learn more about co-existing with our addictions instead of dividing them into good and bad and derailing our healing process, I’d probably abandon the concept of the event. Especially after doing my own reality check by talking to and visiting a few organizers of different types of sobriety events.
It is not an easy task to learn how to party sober. I know. But I belive in us.
Btw here is a sober rave in Berlin on the 10th of August.
So today I’m posting my message of support and I intend to read it on video. Gene is preparing some musical surprises as usual. The lunar peak is over. Thanks to everyone who sent me love or requests for support. I’m glad we’re together through this.
Here is the link to the IG account dedicated to the event.
(CW) sober gathering with undressing options after 22pm
UPDATE SAT 22.06
Unfortunately, the weather is too wild and unpredictable today, so we’re giving you our support via personal messages.
Here’s the telegram link, if you need help today, write to us there, we’ll check it every hour.
For Mycelium members, my location may be revealed, but it seems today I’m moving around the city a lot.
The kinky agenda will be taken care of by Sil and me starting tomorrow.
UPDATE FRI 21.06
We decided to start with a picnic on the Tempelhofer feld, so we do not limit the capacity of participants. Please still let us know if you want to come via email, we will send you the pin. (The location will be automatically posted for Mycelium members).
We will start the gathering at 16:00. Please spread the word so everyone who is in need of such event can know and come.
Here is the update on the part about being sober, since I’ve received a lot of feedback from people who would like to moderate their consumption but can’t give it up completely.
Please share this with anyone who needs support to moderate their substance use or has mental health issues related to cruelty of capitalism.
Our sober gathering on Saturday is FREE and open to everyone.
We don’t require you to be absolutely clean.
We won’t shame you or judge. Won’t tell you how to live either. We will be just there to talk, hug, and listen to the music.
We just ask that you don’t use anything during the event and that you don’t encourage other participants to use any substance, including sugar and caffeine.
The live music from Bogolepov will happen in acoustic format at around 17:00.
After 22 there will be options to join me for the kinky event, use the same email to sing up.
no substances consumption during the meeting: water only, no smoking
event is free, donations will help a lot (online donations via mycelium)
MAIN MESSAGES
the world is broken, not us – how to fix it? we talk. that is a start already!
we are all different and thus we seek help & recover differently.
how to respect that? – i will ask the group each time what would they personally see as triggers.
what should we avoid doing or saying? so each live gathering might have additional rules according to sensitivities of the participants. please respect them.
how to respect our differences and triggers and still talk about addictions openly? please share your ideas or concerns with us viamoon@sicut-dico.com
chicken and egg, IN A NUTSHELL 😉
chicken & egg dilemma or vicious circle, name it as you like, but here it is:
the more pressure we feel – the more we crave escape – then we develop addictions and need to escape from them too. sometimes we just trade or substitute addictions. but do we really escape?
we try to ban drugs without understanding that our bodies are the most sophisticated drugs dispensers ever existed, we can’t ban nature. we need to understand and take control. everyone needs to find what makes them happy. sounds easy, yet reality is hard.
for many of us even basic formula of healthy living is hardly accessible. sensible nutrition and active lifestyle, essential for good mental health and for support of our self-love and self-confidence, become somewhat of a luxury. even the knowledge itself of some specifics of your body is a privilege, as it is only available to those who have access to medical services.
how to change it? how to survive it?
together it’s easier. and even though we might not have much money, but what we have is our community. for many rich people it’s an unknown luxury.
if you feel like it is somehow fucked up, you are right, it is. humanity is going into a dangerous direction.
Here is the event concept that I want to dedicate the whole next year to. And it’s not about entertainment. It’s about survival. It is basically a very sophisticated version of an AA support group without god or guilt.
Why addiction?
Because I am an addict. And most of us are.
But I am the lucky one. I learned how to survive and now want to support the ones who are a bit less lucky.
For whom?
For everyone who doesn’t fit
Artists, atheists, sex workers, everyone who has any kind of addiction issues and especially those who don’t find traditional support groups helpful for them.
The main goal is to put an end to the hopeless cycle of making money with money for money’s sake, but this is a long-term endeavor.
So we can start by supporting the most vulnerable ones: artists and addicts. Sometimes these groups intersect for whatever reason.
When and where?
Every full moon. Online. And offline from May.
Updated in May 2024, after receiving initial feedback. It seems that Berlin needs this type of event more than others.
24/04/2024
Full Moon Addiction I: Berlin
23/05/2024
Full Moon Addiction II Berlin
22/06/2024
Full Moon Addiction III ?
21/07/2024
Full Moon Addiction IV ?
19/08/2024
Full Moon Addiction V Berlin
If you have a location where you want to host us, reach out via moon@sicut-dico.com
Why?
In this world, everything has a price. But not everything can be bought with money. No, the world is not black and white. We’re all different. We’re more than two genders, more than good and bad, we’re becoming more complex by the minute.
We live in a world where equality is synonymous with helplessness. We are prisoners of a rudimentary knowledge of the world. We make children and adults addicted to their own dopamine on a massive scale, and it’s totally legal and called social media. Yet if they manage to smoke a herb that human beings have been using for thousands of years, we prosecute them and deny them a future.
And I’m not even talking about the responsibilities of the pharmaceutical and food industries on the scale of addictions and other health issues. I don’t want to make things look too dark too quickly. I hope we can learn together how to put an end to this mess. But there is a lot of work.
My artistic goal here is to build a community of people who agree that the most important things in life are not things. At least, not material things.
My personal goal is to control my addiction to tobacco and replace it with the euphoria of helping people be themselves.
What?
Donation based tickets will be available 3 weeks before (pay what you can). One week before prices for tickets go up for the first time. Then we are rising prices on the day of the event again. It’s still capitalism, sorry. At least this way certain amount of tickets will be available for lower prices.
Support group will be available for everyone registered. For free online. Donation based offline.
We will offer separate tickets or a bundle. Yearly pass option should be available too. Online and offline. Hopefully this way some parts of the event will finance the other.
How?
To be notified when tickets are available for the next event, send us an email at moon@sicut-dico.com. And don’t hesitate to share your story with us.
It is a full day event starting at 12 midday and ending in 10-12 hrs, consisting of 5 blocks:
AUCTION / AWARD / SUPPORT / REALITY CHECK / HEALING
The auction consists of exhibiting and selling a series of works of art. The event will start with the intro of the artworks. The auction itself will take place at the very end of the event.
Award is actually about humor. I’d like to invite stand up comedians to take part in the event and make it less dramatic. (In April, the prize goes to Germany for legalizing pot and to the police in general. They win a chance to laugh and accept reality together. Also a bit of gratitude. But not all of them. I will explain this personally.) I also invite journalists and politicians to join public debates on the topics. But for the first event I just imagined a 40-50 minutes comedy show with my moderation. My guess here is that we might not be ready to talk about certain things seriously until we get to laugh about them. It’s a theory to test.
Support consists of inviting all sorts of addicts that don’t fit in other groups, as well as the people who live or work with them, to an honest conversation. Without judgment, but with a consensual exchange of views, feelings and positions. I’ll share part of my story, invite people to share theirs or ask me questions. I went to a number of support groups over the last few years. Some specialized on alcohol, some treating all addictions as sicknesses. Most of them made me feel guilty. Or broken. Yes I could see people there who seemed to be even more broken. Here is my short story.
I stopped drinking in 2018. Since 2022 I almost live without suicidal thoughts and panic attacks. I regularly support other people with similar issues. I eat and exercise. My health is finally okay and getting better. I work on multiple projects. But I smoke weed. Now I am planning to give up tobacco btw. It bothers me. But I don’t want to give up weed. I don’t smoke every day. Weed is the only drug that doesn’t make me feel like having more and more of it. I can moderate it. It is still an addiction. No plan to argue with that.
Should I feel broken though? I don’t think so. Moderation is the key. This is what I learned so far about addictions – it is so much easier to control them if we face them, call them by their names, don’t judge or punish, but understand why they form. At this point I simply want to share what helps me. And perhaps offer other people to tell their stories.
Reality checks will happen for each their own. I intend to talk about issues surrounding substances and addictions.
If it comes to my personal routine. I won’t be smoking anything the week leading up to the event. So I can have some sober experience to live through every time and be able to support others.
I do not want to promote smoking weed. But I also don’t want to hide if I do so. I think we should simply look for new ways of dealing with addictions. That I can’t imagine happening without dialogue.
I would also like to talk about the absurdity of testing strategies used now. Example. If I smoke a lot of THC weed at some point and then stop, get tested a few weeks after, the tests that are used right now most likely will not help me to prove that I didn’t smoke those weeks before. And the general issue of the misperception of good and bad drugs in our society. Or tolerance issues. The hypocrisy we foster out of ignorance will cost us dearly.
This part is for the good of future generations of sensitive people like me. We should learn how to not create addicts. Instead of stigmatizing some. Or rewarding others. In the long term I would also like to invite doctors to a discussion and those who can respect my sensitivity could actually examine me, and I’ll be happy to share my knowledge and experience with them.
photo by sashaperova.com
The healing session will be led by Gene Bogolepov. She has prepared an intense and sensual 30-minute audiovisual experience. I guess here I wonder if I can have issues with calling a musical performance a healing session. I honestly believe that art can heal. But we are not promising miracles either. The world is broken, not us.
Closing of the auction will also be streamed online.
How much?
free or donation based for support seekers, tickets to the show via mail list, mycelium members – free
All proceeds from the event above expenses will be donated to Ukraine.
